Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
