Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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