life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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