She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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