No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
