I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
