i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
