i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i now understand why vodka
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
