Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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