There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
