morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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