we're blogging at a bar
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
