Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize