Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
