Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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