When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
this just has baby written all over it
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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