I seem to have left my pride at pride
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
