i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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