i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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