hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
