Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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