you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
