one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
