I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
