DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
