how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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