You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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