drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
