i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
