Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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