The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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