He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
