Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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