Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
