I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There r osticjed everywhere
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
