For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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