woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i may or may not be watching the land before time
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize