How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
