It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
