Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Non-Jews are for practice
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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