are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
