So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Girls should come with a carfax report
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
