i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
