when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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