the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize