He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
