I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
