WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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