I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize