We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
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dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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