That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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