It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
