just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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