Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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