Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
