You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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