i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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If its not for food we ain't going out.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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