Your dad touched me again.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
