i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
