I'm lost and stupid without you.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
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I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
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Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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