Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
