Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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