is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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