a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
