You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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